I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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