Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
