I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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