Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
