we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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