Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize