so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
