Your face is a jimmy john
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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