You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
