you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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