I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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