sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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