i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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