What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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