im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
