The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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