I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
