You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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