Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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