so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
