i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
