He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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