is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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