I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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