she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
