I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just found a bag of teeth...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
