great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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