look no pants
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
