I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
