tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
