Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
