More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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