You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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