Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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