Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
