but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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