I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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