Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
