Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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