Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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