I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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