No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize