Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
