We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
