You made me cry and you don't even care
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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