I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
