Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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