Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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(510): View more from California

The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(703): View more from Virginia

And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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(661): View more from California

Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.

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