The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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