Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction