some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend