Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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