Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished