Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  operation harelip BJ is a go

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  (313): operation harelip BJ is a go http://tfl.nu/cnub
  Replies (36) Good night (1131) Bad night (4015)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4779) Bad night (650)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That reminds me...we need to get swords

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  (785): That reminds me...we need to get swords http://tfl.nu/9ivg
  Replies (15) Good night (7313) Bad night (1151)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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  (201): Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs. http://tfl.nu/3fsr
  Replies (19) Good night (5417) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

  (561): View more from Florida

  But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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  (561): Bad news is he broke up with me via text message (561): But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville http://tfl.nu/1qx8
  Replies (28) Good night (7193) Bad night (1551)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.

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  (802): Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good. http://tfl.nu/wigs
  Replies (9) Good night (2204) Bad night (4080)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.

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  (720): Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too. http://tfl.nu/q191
  Replies (12) Good night (2720) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Are you high and at a petting zoo again?

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  (520): Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals (480): Are you high and at a petting zoo again? http://tfl.nu/ph9z
  Replies (5) Good night (5296) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing

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  (778): It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing http://tfl.nu/h5t5
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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  (262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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  (410): Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar http://tfl.nu/p9qp
  Replies (6) Good night (3305) Bad night (724)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.

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  (414): Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success. http://tfl.nu/e521
  Replies (3) Good night (1132) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.

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  (970): I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot. http://tfl.nu/spo7
  Replies (0) Good night (616) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

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  (757): Moonshine marathon is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/1b2l
  Replies (6) Good night (596) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class

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  (704): So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class http://tfl.nu/k94d
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (151)

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