shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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