i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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