Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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