So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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