Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
