Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize