For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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