my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
